Krist Novoselic's Eulogy: On behalf of
Dave, Pat, and I, I would like to thank you all for your concern at
this time. We remember Kurt for what he was: caring, generous, and sweet.
Let's keep the music with us. We'll always have it... Forever. Kurt
had an ethic towards his fans that was rooted in the punk rock way of
thinking. No band is special, no player royalty. But if you've got a
guitar and a lot of soul just bang something out and mean it. You're
the superstar. Plugged in the tones and rhythms that are uniquely and
universally human: music. Heck... use your guitar as a drum, just catch
the groove and let it flow out of your heart. That's the level Kurt
spoke to us on: in our hearts, and that's where he, and the music, will
always be, forever.
Courtney Love: I don't know what to
say. I feel the same way you guys do. If you guys don't think... that
I used to sit in this room, when he played the guitar and sang, and
feel so honored to be near him, you're crazy... Anyway, he left a
note, it's more like a letter to the fucking editor. I don't know
what happened. I mean it was gonna happen, but it could've happened
when he was 40. He always said he was gonna outlive everybody and
be a hundred and twenty. I'm not gonna read you all the note 'cause
it's none of the rest of your fucking business. But some of it is
to you. I don't really think it takes away his dignity to read this
considering that it's addressed to most of you. He's such an asshole.
I want you all to say "asshole" really loud.
crowd: "asshole"
Courtney Love: This note should be pretty
easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses
over the years since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics
involved with independence and embracement of your community, has
proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening
to, as well as creating music, along with really writing something,
for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things
- for example, when we're backstage and the lights go out and the
roar of the crowd begins, it doesn't affect me the way in which it
did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love and relish the love and
adoration of the crowd.
Well, Kurt, so fucking what - then don't be a rock star you asshole.
Which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact, I can't fool
you, any one of you, it simply isn't fair to you or to me. The worst
crime I could think of would be to put people off by faking it, pretending
as if I'm having 100% fun.
No Kurt, the worst crime I can think of is for you to just continue
being a rock star when you fucking hate it, just fucking stop.
Sometimes I feel as I should have a punch-in time clock before I
walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate
it, and I do, God believe me, I do. But it's not enough. I appreciate
the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people.
I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when
they're alone. I'm too sensitive. Oh, I need to be slightly numb in
order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last
three tours I've had a much better appreciation of all the people
I've known personally, and of fans of our music. But I still can't
get out the frustration, the guilt and the empathy I have for everybody.
There's good in all of us and I simply love people too much.
So why didn't you just fucking stay?
So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. Sad little sensitive
unappreciative Pisces, Jesus, Man...
Oh shut up, bastard. Why didn't you just enjoy it? I don't know.
Then he goes on to say personal things to me that are none of your
damn business; personal things to Frances that are none of your damn
business.
I had a good marriage, and for that I'm grateful. But since the age
of seven, I've become hateful toward all humans in general. Only because
it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy.
Empathy?
Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess Thank you
all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach for your letters and
concern during the last years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody person
and I don't have the passion anymore. So remember...
And don't remember this, cause this is a fucking lie!
It's better to burn out than to fade away.
God! You asshole.
Peace, Love, Empathy. Kurt Cobain.
And then there are some more personal things that is none of your
damn business. And just remember: this is all bullshit... But I want
you to know one thing: that '80s tough luck bullshit, it doesn't work.
It's not real. It doesn't work. I should have let him - we all should
have let him - have his numbness. We should have let him have the
thing that made him feel better, that made his stomach feel better.
We should have let him have it, instead of trying to strip away his
skin.
You go home and you tell your parents, "Don't you ever try that
tough love bullshit on me, 'cuz it doesn't fucking work." That's
what I think.
And I'm laying in our bed, and I'm really sorry. And I feel the same
way you do. I'm really sorry you guys. I don't know what I could have
done. I wish I'd been here. I wish I hadn't listened to other people,
but I did.
Every night I've been sleeping with his mother, and I wake up in
the morning and think it's him because their bodies are sort of the
same.
And I have to go now. Just tell him he's a fucker, OK? Just say "fucker."
"You're a fucker." And that you love him.
::::
P.S.: Это слова Криса Новоселика
и Кортни Лав в помять о Курте Кобэйне 1994-04-10 Seattle Center Flag
Pavilion - Seattle, WA, USA. Всё это можно услышать на бутлеге Outcesticide
I - In Memory of Kurt Cobain Remastered Edition
